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Re[2]: (meteorobs) Re: Statistics & Stationary Meteors

>On Tue, 13 Oct 1998, Malcom wrote:


>If it had been just a personal slanging match, as we've recently had
>the misfortune to witness on meteorobs, I agree that such matters are
>better taken offline.  Here there was no argument or animosity, just
>misunderstanding.

>This discussion is closed!


Dear Malcom and all:

I am a very recent new member of this list, but not new to semantics and the art
of self expression, so I'm going to toss my two pennies in the ring in hopes of 
heading off other problems such as these.

It has been my experience that most everyone will accept and appreciate a 
communication that is phrased in terms of the communicators own feelings and 
experiences.  For example, "I limit my commitment to observing to keep balance 
in my life", or "When my focus becomes quantity, I worry that the quality of my 
work suffers."

These are clear communications that the reader interprets as the author's 
opinion.

I have found that if these same thoughts are phrased,"One should limit their 
commitment to observing to keep balance in their lives," or "When your focus 
becomes quantity instead of quality, your results can suffer," the reader can 
feel compelled to internalize the communication as advice or criticism.  This 
can result in a defense of the readers own point of view, and a circular 
conversation with each side trying to re-state their positions.

If my intent is to give advice, then I try to declare it as such, clearly naming
my target audience, and still expressing the content in terms of my experiences 
and beliefs.

So okay, I'll shut up...  It just that I have had a lot of trouble in my life 
with unclear communications (particularly with the wife), and have found that 
reducing the use of "you" and "one should" in my choice of language has helped 
create meaningful and harmonious relationships.

BTW, We observed from 2:30-4:00UT Oct8/9 and saw zero GIA from central 
California under clear skies and an LM of 5.

Clear skies,
kevin_wells@cohr.com