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(meteorobs) Christmas - off topic!!



Greetings all,

Just wanted to wish everybody out there a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!  

Also wanted to wish a special welcome to all the new members of the
meteorobs list who we have picked up since the Leonids and the Geminids...
and especially to all the new ladies on the list - it's great to have some
company here! ;>

In that vein, I am enclosing at the end of this message a rather neat piece
that a friend sent to me... on the subject of Santa Claus!  

Have a great holiday all.... and Clear Skies for 2000!

- Cathy Hall
  Great White North
  Ottawa, Canada

********************************************
Fwd:  Subject: Man or Woman ???

Santa Claus is a woman. I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe
he's a she.

Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social
deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts
until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only
Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves.On this
count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone
in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia
Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would
be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the
rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had
been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation
problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds
and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
-Men can't pack a bag.
-Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
-Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen  with all
those elves.
-Men don't answer their mail.
-Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as
anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
-Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
-Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick
up women.
-Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men:
Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy.
Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to
point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone
screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance.

******************************************

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